The goal of asking a clarifying question is to get additional information so that we fully understand the sender’s intended message – what they meant to say, which is not always just what they actually said. What do they really mean? What is behind the words they are saying – or not saying?Ĭlarifying questions helps us as leaders to truly listen to others. As Receivers, if our intention is to look out for the best interest of others, we can demonstrate this by truly listening to understand the Heart (or intention) of the sender. It’s our responsibility as the Receiver to really get at that intention. What does all this tell me? If I’m truly listening, it tells me what their intended message is (their true meaning), or as close to it as possible. That well? What does that require of the Receiver? It requires us to pay attention to the Sender’s: Truly listening means taking in the full message to ensure maximum understanding. By taking a few extra moments to truly ‘listen’ to the sender, I was able to better understand what they were trying to say. In my example above, when I took the time to ask one simple question, “Can you please clarify what you meant when you said this _?”, it saved a lot of time and energy by not focusing on the wrong things. In digital communication we are missing some key ingredients of the full message: tone, body language, and emotions to name a few. How often does that happen in communication? In today’s digital society, it is easy to misinterpret what someone is trying to say through an email or text. The sender sent back a quick response further clarifying what they meant, and just as I thought, I had misunderstood what the sender was trying to say. I deleted my original response and asked for clarification instead. I was tempted to fire back my initial emotional response, but as I was typing it struck me that maybe I misunderstood what the sender was trying to say. Most of the email made sense, but there was one sentence that really struck a wrong cord with me. Recently I received an email from a colleague that felt a little ‘loaded’.
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